would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
