Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
