i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
