Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
