He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
