I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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