easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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