i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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