So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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