i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
