you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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