We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wish I only lived at night.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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