He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
