I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
