Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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