i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Green mimosas i think yes
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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