I smell stomach acid.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
