3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize