I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
