went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
