The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize