that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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