Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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