she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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