I'm jealous of your bromance
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
