peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
