The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize