hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
