Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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