Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
