I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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