her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
