I hate your face
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
