it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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