Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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