i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
