My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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