also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
