dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize