please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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