before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
