Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
