We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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