she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
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