I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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