I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
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Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
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I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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