It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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