i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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