You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
