i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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