does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
