its not stalking. its research.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
