My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
