Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
