whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
