girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
