shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
