How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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