I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
