i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
