Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
