thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
