I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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