I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
