I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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