i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
